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“What did you have? A boy or a girl?” Kyl and Brent imagined it would be years before their child would identify with a gender. Until then…

As a first-time parent, Kyl Myers had one aspect dialed in from the start: not being beholden to the boy-girl binary, disparities, or stereotypes from the day a child is born. With no wish to eliminate gender but rather gender discrimination, Kyl and her husband, Brent, ventured off on a parenting path less traveled. Raising a confident, compassionate, and self-aware person was all that mattered.

In this illuminating memoir, Kyl delivers a liberating portrait of a family’s choice to dismantle the long-accepted and often-harmful social construct of what it means to be assigned a gender from birth. As a sociologist, Kyl explores the science of gender and sex and the adulthood gender inequities that start in childhood. As a loving parent, Kyl shares the joy of watching an amazing child named Zoomer develop their own agency to grow happily and healthily toward their own gender identity and expression.

Candid and surprising, Raising Them is an inspiration to parents and to anyone open to understanding the limitless possibilities of being yourself.

“Frank and compassionate…An enlightening, much-needed resource for parents hoping to raise their children without limitations.” 

— Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“An eye-opening and thought-provoking diary of a brave child-rearing adventure, an optimistic and hopeful alternative to the rigid binary gender stereotypes that govern child-rearing today”

— Gina Rippon, author of the Gendered Brain

“Raising Them is a must-read for anyone with kids in their lives. Myers gracefully delivers a warm and vulnerable account of parenting that will inspire you to imagine the possibilities of raising a child free from the gendered expectations that harmfully script everyones lived experiences”

— Georgiann Davis, author of Contesting Intersex: The Dubious Diagnosis

“A thoughtful, searching, tender exploration of why allowing children gender freedoms greatly matters—for parents just as much as for kids. With a keen eye on privilege, region, and religion, Myers guides you with intelligent passion through new terrain. Kids of all genders just received a gift ”

— Kathryn Bond Stockton, author of The Queer Child

“A deeply personal story that shows how gender creative parenting can work in real life… What shines through is how simple gender creative parenting can actually be. Myers shows that, at its core, gender creative parenting is about affirming and loving your child, exactly as they are.”

— Christia Spears Brown, author of Parenting beyond Pink and Blue